December 2011
2 posts
Roses aren’t blue. Violets aren’t red. If your mom had an abortion. You would be dead. Roses aren’t blue. Violets aren’t red. We can’t be friends. You’re fucked in the head.
November 2011
6 posts
Fuck, I was different. Fuck, I am different.
I don’t know what has changed but I feel different.
I feel like I’m better. I’m a better me now than the me I was last year. And the year before that. And the year before that. And the year before that.
I’m still a lonely person. I’m still a virgin. I still get sad. I still hate the majority of the fuckwits in this world. But that is me. I also get happy. I also...
I'm doing me.
Anonymous asked: IM me on Yahoo Msngr it's important. my username is deborahmeliaff121393
September 2011
1 post
RUOK DAY CAN RUIN FRIENDSHIPS.
So what do we do after we have asked “Are you okay?” Like what if the person says “no” and you don’t have the social skills to make them feel better. Do you just sit there in awkward silence hoping that in the not so comfortable quiet time they have a think to themselves and figure out their own problems? Or what if they say “Yes, I am fine” and then that...
July 2011
1 post
May 2011
2 posts
Hey End Of The World, so sorry for the mix up but some idiots double booked and we weren’t expecting you till 2012. We can’t actually fit you in at 6 o’clock. There’s nothing really that we can do. Once again I’m really sorry and I’m afraid you’ll just have to be patient and wait another year to bring forth the destruction of all living things. See...
4 tags
IT’S FRIDAY, FRIDAY! SPOOKY SCARY FRIDAY! EVERYBODY’S FREAKING CAUSE IT’S THE THIRTEENTH! FRIDAY FRIDAY! SPOOKY SCARY FRIDAY! EVERYBODY’S FREAKING CAUSE IT’S THE THIRTEENTH! MASSACRE, MASSACRE! YEAH! MASSACRE, MASSACRE! YEAH! KILL KILL KILL KILL! EVERYBODY STAB YOUR CLOSEST FRIEND.
March 2011
6 posts
“I kind of actually did want to be your friend for like a brief second but then...”
– What I wish a girl would say when I do my Cerebral Palsy Down Syndrome Car Accident Impersonation.
flapjacksblog2 asked: I like candy, do you like candy?
February 2011
4 posts
Frankston Pub Rule no. 47
Never stab a man at the urinal. Piss could go everywhere.
Be a man. Drink Passion Pop.
Attack of the Goon Monster.
January 2011
2 posts
I never knew
No I didn’t.
I never knew.
Never.
Wasn’t it amazing?
Wasn’t it crazy?
Wasn’t it absolutely out of this world?
I know now though and…
The magic’s gone.
December 2010
11 posts
You have not unfollowed me yet.. What will it...
I think Glee is the best show ever made. The writing is amazing and all the songs that they cover are better than the original versions of the songs.
I hope I offend you
White person: I don't like black people
Black person: I don't like you white people
White person: You look like you came out of someone's anus. Get it, cause your skin color is the same as shit.
Black person: You look like you come out of someone's asshole and then was left outside in the sun. Get it, cause your skin color is the same as dried up shit.
White person: You are a nigger.
Black person: Yes I am and so is my brother.
Black person's brother who is also black: I'm going to kill you motherfucker.
White person: I did in fact fuck your mother. It was the worst sex of my life but then again she is a blackie and I do really disapprove of having sex with people whose skin is not the same as mine.
Black person: You have gone too far.
Black person's brother who is also black: You have gone way too far.. motherfucker.
Black person: *beats white person to death*
Black person's brother who is also black: Mexicans are dirty and should not exist.
Black person: I agree. Same with the Jews.
“You tell Yao Ming, ‘Ching chong yang, wah, ah soh.’”
– Shaquille O’Neal
Don't post for a month = gain a whole bunch of new...
So here is a post. Let the unfollowing begin… faggots.
October 2010
4 posts
This is a short audio clip of me performing a bit...
Son of the sun.
Beneath the fiery blaze of hotness that is the sun’s exterior there lies a boy. The boy who lives in the sun. He has a bed of flames and he has never known darkness.
This boy’s name is Cain. Cain lives alone inside the sun and no-one knows of his existence. He’s never had family or friends. He’s only ever had blistering heat and occasional burns. Due to the lack of social...
September 2010
5 posts
Take me home gurl.
I want to be taken back to yours but I’m not going to let you know that. No. I couldn’t possibly interact with you in a way that would maybe kindle some sort of relationship fire because I know that I’ll get too close too soon and burn myself.
Ouch.
All you pretty girls that are interesting and wonderful and just generally like people I want to know a lot better are all 3-4...
It's easy for girls to have sex. It's harder for...
That’s a double entendre.
THE CROTHERS BROTHERS BLOG →
Okay, so I haven’t been posting much to tumblr recently but I have been posting some stuff to this site which is a site for a whole bunch of Aussie comics to just spew out a whole bunch of crazy shit. Just a place to offload some mind thoughts and share with each other some shit. I put some poetry on there and other people post on it.
Other Aussie comedians who post on it are Travis Nash,...
August 2010
8 posts
A female dinosaur hugged me.
She raptor arms around me.
A short poem to help the enviroment.
Cigarette But Sitting on the floor. Why couldn’t your owner Walk just that little bit more? He should have put you in the bin. Doesn’t he know That pollution is sin?
It's 1:19PM...
And I’m already drinking. At five o’ clock I will be drunk and I’ll get ready and then I’ll drink more and then I’ll get on public transport, get to a 21st, drink more, get a taxi to an 18th drink more and then get a taxi again back home, pass out in the taxi and finally wake up in a ditch.
I have a feeling that tonight’s going to be a good night. Woo Oooh.
Anonymous asked: Get fucked.