tip for guys:

sognare:

if you’re trying to swoon a girl and totally sweep her off your feet when you kiss her, HOLD HER FACE. brush her cheeks, and put her hair behind her ears.

i know you guys hate how girls want that movie crap, but that would make half of us melt into a puddle of goo.

JSYK.

Thanks for letting me know.

dear alanasinpyjamas,

I would love a hug and believe it or not.. I don’t know what I’d say in an actual conversation about it all. I’d probably try to appear wise and all knowing about things when in reality I’m just a shithead nineteen year old talking shit.

But thank you for offering those things. It was kind of you to do so. I’ll get over it. I’m sure of it. Things much worse happen all the time.

Could Be Better.

“Could Be Better” has been my response to the question “How are you?” this past week. A question most recently asked by the girl who broke up with me exactly a week ago.

Sigh.

My ex-girlfriend of a week just told me that she’s masturbating and that the day after she broke up with me (which was her 18th birthday) she hooked up with someone. Oh lord. Why am I still talking to her? Because I don’t want to let go of her? Because I secretly hope she’ll get back together with me? Because I’m a fucking loser? Or all of the above plus a million more things. I’m starting to think that I never really wanted to be with her anyway. I just wanted to be with someone. Anyone. Wanted to be with someone so much that my mind told me that I wanted to be with her when really any girl would of quenched my need for a relationship. And I think the same thing was going on in her mind so we formed a relationship and a bond with the end result being two really happy months and then emotional hurt for me. Two weeks before Christmas, she gives me the gift of bitterness. Thanks babe. Best present ever. Well second best. The best present was that Microphone you gave me for my birthday so I can practice mic. technique and perform my stand up to my dogs. I don’t really think they enjoy my Katy Perry/Shower joke that much but they are dogs and dogs don’t really have a good ear for humor.

I remember when we were dating and I’d walk down the street and see couples together and I’d think “Ha, before when I was single.. a bitter comment would arise in my mind grapes but now I don’t mind you complete strangers making out while waiting for the bus”.  But now I’m back to hating the strangers eating each others faces at the bus stop. I nearly spat on a couple the other day but I didn’t because by the way the were sucking face they probably would of thought the saliva was their own. Stop with the public lust. I was about to write public intimacy but refrained due to the fact it’s not that intimate when you’re on a park bench waiting for public transport.

Oh my ex-girlfriend.. I am so glad you still want to be “good friends”. This hurt does wonders for me. Thanks for talking to me still and giving me a constant reminder that I wasn’t good enough for you. You’re so lucky to still be graced with my presence as I can’t find it in myself to erase you from my life.

When she asked me how I am. I shouldn’t of replied with “Could be better” I should of replied with a caution. “Could be bitter”.

Yo Dawg.

We heard you like driving but your car can already do that so we did nothing to it.