The second part to Nerds in love which is about me.

It’s weird for them to be together but I’m happy for them cause they’re happy. I have to be happy for them. They probably wouldn’t be my friends if I frowned upon their happiness but I wish I had that happiness. In my entire nineteen years of existence I have had only one girlfriend and when she dumped me all my friends were telling me that there are plenty more fish in the sea. Thing is my friends, I don’t want to lose my virginity to a fish. They don’t have a pleasant smell and I’ve never really liked the taste.

I am a virgin and I’m cool with that because my friends are cool with it. They say to me “It’s alright brother. It’s cool that you’ve never had sex because you don’t have to put up with bitches and their shit”. And I have two responses to this when they say it. My sober response “Wow, that’s pretty sexist” and my drunken response which is breaking down and crying.

And I think now is the time to tell you that Sam and Rachel are fictional characters. They don’t exist. I kind of wish they did though. It’d be nice to have friends.